Was creating this blog when I am down. Really very down to the extend I even dislike myself. I don't understand myself. I have really a lot of things to express out but I don't know who should I tell. I scare they will scared by me if I speak out what I am thinking. I dislike being alone. Especially being left out either the person intended or not. BUT........ at the same time I dislike to socialize with others too. This is why I called myself as a weirdo.